deathbyboredom97

between worrying about my future and trying to meet my family expectations... and by family i mean mainly my mothers, i cant help but worry about my friends.. i dont want them to just give up. because if they give up what hope do i have?

i know its been awhile since i last did a journal but that is out of pure laziness. actually laziness is all i do lately >.> maybe because i graduated highschool or feel no goals pushing me anywhere because i have none at the moment... its probably both and more u.u i know for sure i've been feeling this self awareness that ive become a total bum, getting only four hours of sleep a day too :P . cuz i hav no schooling at the moment, i cant get a job, and i have nothing pulling me in any directions. i kinda hate feeling like a bum, but im happy that im spending time with my friends. i feel pretty lost at the moment with my art. i feel that

excuse me if i have been neglecting to talk to many of my friends here but i gus skool really drains my social...ness (is that a word??) my senior year has been pretty productive n things have been really good even if i had quite a bit trouble with skools authority. the thing is i havnt done anything wrong which just add my passionate hatred for the students here and even more for authority lol. but really, things been really good. i have myself in order(except for skool work), my grade are ALMOST straight A's, there has barely been drama (except for like october >.>) and ive been chillin with my friends when i can. christmas is comming  a