deathbyboredom97

between worrying about my future and trying to meet my family expectations... and by family i mean mainly my mothers,

i cant help but worry about my friends.. i dont want them to just give up.
because if they give up



what hope do i have?

i know its been awhile since i last did a journal but that is out of pure laziness.
actually laziness is all i do lately >.> maybe because i graduated highschool or feel no goals pushing me anywhere because i have none at the moment... its probably both and more u.u
i know for sure i've been feeling this self awareness that ive become a total bum, getting only four hours of sleep a day too . cuz i hav no schooling at the moment, i cant get a job, and i have nothing pulling me in any directions. i kinda hate feeling like a bum, but im happy that im spending time with my friends.

i feel pretty lost at the moment with my art. i feel that i lost that inspiration and i need to find it again. maybe i lost some "heart"? basically the only thing driving me to draw is my new badass tablet. the thing just can not be ignored

so to sum it all up, i'm lost at the moment, living like a graduation bum. and indulge my mind in my own little world because i seriously want to ignore reality

i hope everyone is doing well and know what the hell they're doing better than i am

excuse me if i have been neglecting to talk to many of my friends here but i gus skool really drains my social...ness (is that a word??)
my senior year has been pretty productive n things have been really good even if i had quite a bit trouble with skools authority. the thing is i havnt done anything wrong which just add my passionate hatred for the students here and even more for authority lol.
but really, things been really good. i have myself in order(except for skool work), my grade are ALMOST straight A's, there has barely been drama (except for like october >.>) and ive been chillin with my friends when i can. christmas is comming  and im really excited cuz i hav someone to share it with   
my senoir class are pretty kool. i have animation class n im really learning alot about my new cs5 programs. im doing a project in there dealing with my own story line. and if i can i'll put it up here
and since im a senoir im really working hard (well not really) to get scholarships n apply to colleges

hopefully i'll put new things up ^^

sorry i havnt been very active on deviantart in a long time.
skool suxed up my motivation at the end n i have found little of it until lately.

i just had a intense art block for like a month and little energy to talk to people but i think im comming out of it. and finally put up some work.

please comment on whatever new i put up n i'll see what everyone is up to

whats with the Llamba badge things? i dont get it -___-